Monday, January 13, 2014

Curvy Girls

I've been watching this show on Hulu called 'Curvy Girls' and it has inspired me to write this post.  Hold on to your pants.

I have been overweight my entire life, even at my thinnest I was 170 pounds.  I have never been confident about anything below my neckline.  Ever.  Even when I was at my thinnest I lacked confidence.  There was always 'that' person in my life that kept even the tiniest peace of self-confidence from surfacing.

When I was in elementary school the kids would just call me fat or whatever, nothing creative really.  As I got older the one liners started rolling in one after the other.  In middle school it was the girls more so than the boys, which I still to this day find odd.  What happened to girl power?  I actually had one girl who was sitting behind me on the bleachers in gym measure the width of my butt with her feet.  In high school, oh, high school was hell.  Pure hell.  The boys were the main source of my torture.  Whenever there were special things going on in class that involved food, I couldn't eat because of certain individuals and their comments.  One time, in Spanish class we had a 'fiesta', well I decided to eat.  Sure enough, one boy made snorting noises and puffed his cheeks out like a pig.  I was told to not even bother trying out for majorette because I was too fat, I was better suited for color guard.  I was taunted by one boy constantly, he would ask me if I'd walk to school because I surely couldn't fit into a car.  Things of that nature.  Noises.  I have chills now just thinking about those people.  I could totally name names because it is forever etched in my brain but honestly, what good would that do?  None, whatsoever.  You know who you are and I know what goes around comes around.  I hope NO one ever treats your children the way you treated me.

Now, with all that said, I wasn't perfect either.  I had a girl that I was pretty insensitive to in middle school.  We were friends but she was the target of a lot of wasn't her weight, it was some choices she made about her clothing, intentionally. Anyway, wrong was wrong and I was wrong.  I have sense apologized for my indiscretions.  She has forgiven me and all is well.

So, now that I have spilled my guts out to you; here is the point of the message.  TEACH YOUR CHILDREN HOW TO TREAT OTHERS.  I don't care if you believe in God, worship peanut butter or are a Jehovah's Witness.  We are ALL human, we are ALL on this planet together, we ALL have to coexist.  I'm straight up here to say, my children WILL not put up with the same crap that I did.  Will not.  I pray to God every single day that they don't have to endure the heckling or that they ever second guess who they are as people due to some other child's ignorance.   Due to some parent's ignorance.  Your children behave like you teach them to behave.  For instance, Haleigh my first born is a bit on the hot-headed side.  Hmmmm, wonder why?  Payton is uber competitive.  Tanner loves playing video games with his dad.  This is HOW we have taught them to be.  All three kids would also give you the shirt of their backs.  Haleigh may insure you have done everything in your power to get your own shirt first but she would eventually hand it over.  I can not say it enough, YOUR children portray who YOU are while they are away from you.

Payton has problems at school already, she is only in second grade.  It doesn't help that she has a twin that weighs fifteen pounds less than she does.  Payton is a big girl, she plays soccer and wrestles year round.  Kids can't tell the difference between 'fat' and 'athletic'.  Payton is NOT fat, she is built like a brick wall.  She already suffers in the confidence department.  When someone calls her fat, she will not tell on them, she will not tell them off, she will just sit there and take it.  Trust me, there is ONLY so much one person can take and those kids that just sit back and take it, take it and take it...well - things often don't end so well for them.  Read the statistics on child suicide.  Be alarmed.  My child will not be a statistic because your child does not know how to treat people.  My child will not be a statistic because YOUR CHILD HAS NO SELF CONFIDENCE AND PICKS ON OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY YOU HAVE TAUGHT THEM TO BE.  Shame on you.  Shame on you.

My children aren't perfect, none are.  But I can make one promise.  If they ever even consider another harsh word to another child because of their appearance or anything that is unjust....things will end very badly for them.  They have no idea what kind of wrath they will experience if I EVER find out they have disrespected someone in any manner.  I will make hell look like a dance party.

It makes me sad to know that some of these people that I had to deal with in high school have procreated. May God help us all.  All I can do at this point is hope and pray that they have changed their ways and are raising their children 'right'; raising them to respect each other.  I pray that your children never have to endure what you made me endure, I pray that they choose to respect instead of hate.  I pray, I pray, I pray...each and every day, I pray.  I pray for children and parent's that I do not even know - I'm asking you to do the same.

IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN I'M ASKING YOU TO REMEMBER THIS: The rest of the world has to deal with them when you are finished, please teach them to respect one another.

                                               Sad that I even have to write about this,


  1. Okay, I'm's so true!!! Sarah has been bullied and has had counseling because. I don't know how those kids were disciplined, but I'm sure the school did what they needed to do because my 8 year old should NEVER say she wants to kill herself because of some crappy kid. I've told Maggie over and over again if she sees someone getting bullied at school to please tell a teacher and if no one will listen to her to tell me and I will handle it, because they will listen to me. One of her guy friends has been bullied on numerous occasions and even had to deal with cyber bullying and don't think I didn't step in on Instagram and gave a kid a piece of my mind. Oh my gosh, I could go on and on, but thanks for posting this. Kids are jerks, but not ours! :-) Love you Sista!!!

  2. Grrr... Bullying just gets me so worked up. And like you said, it's entirely up to the parents to teach their children right from wrong. I am not looking forward to the school years because of this, but hoping we can teach the boys to be loving to everyone, despite appearances. As a side note, I saw in Alabaster's letter this past month that there's supposed to be an app that all kids can use called Anonymous Alerts to report any kind of bullying. Here's to hoping that will help!

  3. Sadly, Balin has been bullied on the school bus but he will not tell me names. He said he didn't want his 'friends' to get in trouble!! When asked if the bus driver knew...and he shrugs his shoulders as if it doesn't matter. Jason and I do not condone fighting, but have told Balin if he gets punched FIRST that he can fight back and we won't be angry (even if he gets in trouble with the teacher/school/bus driver). I can't let my child be a punching bag, and if other kids know that Balin will not sit and take it like you described Payton doing...that they will leave him alone. (Which this actually worked in one instance. Both kids had bloody noses, but Balin was so proud that he stood up for himself! They both got in trouble, but the other kid doesn't bother him anymore) I'm praying right there with you, girl! In turn, we have been teaching Balin to be kind to others, not judge, and to take up for others that are being bullied. To always remember what he feels like when others pick on him...and does he want other kids to feel that way too? Kids can be so mean, and they always can find SOMETHING to pick on others about. I was short, wore thick glasses and had a boy's name (in my generation, anyway) wasn't easy.

  4. I'm the same way Jodi. I have told all the kids that they better not start the fight but by gosh they better end it! Also, I meant to add it to the blog but forgot. The last thing I say to the kids in the morning as I am shuffling them out the door is: always be kind to everyone, even those that aren't kind to you! They can recite it back to me at this point. Ha!

  5. Uhh im all teary eyed. I pray each and every day my kids do not bully or get bullied. It has become a severe problem now. All we can do is give our kids the confidence that they need and praise them every day. Im sorry you had to go through this.