Thursday, February 6, 2014

Mommy Fail 101

This is pretty epic in my book.  On Monday, January 27th, 2014 our awesome school system celebrated the 100th day of school.  This is a BIG deal.  Every year the kids dress up as old people (100 year old people) and we tend to go ALL out.  There are balloons, games, special snack and just tons of fun!  Well, teachers have sent things home for the past two weeks 'don't forget 100th day of school' kinda stuff.  SO I wrote it down in my calendar so I would not forget.  Come Sunday night we are pulling stuff together; the kids are so very excited.

I give you Haleigh, otherwise known as 'Talula' the rich Southern Belle old lady.  Haleigh's short waisted mink jacket comes with a patent leather belt, double strand of pearls and WAY to big glasses.  Don't forget the bright red lip stick (we borrowed Nonnie's of course) and a CRAP load of 'gray' hair spray.  She was over the top happy with her outfit.
Payton or I should say 'Margorie, the local retirement home fitness instructor', has on her work out gear, fanny pack, big glasses, big make-up and of course, her sweat band.  Duh, how else to fitness instructors dress?  You have to use a fanny pack to carry your heart medication, kleenex and Vaseline chap stick.  She was ready to 'work you out'.

  So the girls were ready to go, happy with their outfits and of course I am yet again receiving "Mom of the Year" awards left and right.

Fast forward to 3:23 PM when they get off the bus.  Oh wait, when they get OFF the bus crying.  Payton was crying and I mean big crocodile tears.  Haleigh immediately says 'thanks a lot mom'.  I said 'what's wrong, what are you talking about'?  Haleigh goes into this story (because Payton can't quit crying) about how.....get ready for it.....wait for it....wait for it....SECOND GRADE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO DRESS UP.  WHAT!!!!  Nope, second graders weren't participating 'this year'.  Key words 'this year'.  I immediately go to the ol' laptop and start emailing out.  I'm so mad that neither teacher emailed or called me to come get the girls or bring them a change of clothes because now they have spent the day being made fun of.  Payton's teacher tried to rectify the situation and have her take her make-up off (with water) which just made things worse because, I don't know, she LOOKED like she took her make-up OFF WITH WATER!  The rest of her outfit was normal but she did have really gray hair.  Whoops.  Haleigh could care less what anyone thinks and she was perfectly happy with being different and just the mere fact that she had make-up on in the first place....well she was a happy little goat.  Payton has such a difficult time on a day-to-day basis with kids making fun of her weight that this was literal icing on the cake.

So - with all that said.  I did read the notes that were sent home.  But, not one of the notes ever mentioned anything about dressing up; the notes said remember the 100th day of school.  Why do I need to remember it if I'm not suppose to do anything?  The kids have dressed up every single year so I just assumed.  Lesson here: don't assume...anything...ever!  Oh and don't send your twins to school looking like cracked out old ladies if they're not supposed to be dressed up as cracked out old ladies.

I'll Take My Prize Money in Twenties,

PS...they got over it and forgave me, not that they had much of another choice, they are seven!

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