Thursday, February 6, 2014

Ain't No Flowers in My Attic....

Don't call CPS, for the NOT call CPS!

The girls have been obsessed with a movie lately and I kinda sorta remembered it being advertised on the Disney channel so I never really checked it out.  HOLY MOTHER OF MARY.  THAT won't be happening again.  I mean, holy crap batman.  HOLY CRAP.

So they have watched said movie at least 10 times.  They were actually laying in my bed when I walked in there to kick them out so I could make the bed up and I saw a young woman (who was the mom) standing in front of her children with her bra on and her mother demanding her to take off her shirt so that the children could see what would happen to them if they didn't behave.  The woman had been whipped...I mean full fledged flogging going on up in Grandma's attic.  SERIOUS business.

I immediately turned the TV off and was greeted with 'MOM we were watching that, why did you do that'???  UM, because you are seven and there is a naked woman on the television?  Maybe?  So I begin to prompt them about the show.  They gave me the synopsis of a grandmother that keeps her grandchildren in the attic and the same grandmother 'scratches' the daughters back when they're bad.  Come again?  Haleigh said 'one of the twins dies and then the big brother he almost died with poison pastries'.  So my head is spinning at this point.

I decide to not let them watch it again until I have investigated.   I watched the movie 'Flowers in the Attic' on later on that night.  Hell fire and brimstone.  Y'all, I am still shaking my head.  Just to clarify so no one else is duped as I was.  'Flowers in the Attic' is on LIFETIME, not Disney.  Don't be a fool.  Like me.

:::Let me break this down for you:::
-Mom is married to her uncle (dad).
-Mom and dad have four children.  In the movie they are 5 year old twins (boy/girl) and a high school age age boy and girl.
-Dad dies in a car wreck.
-Mom doesn't work and decides they need to go back to her parents house and she needs to develop a relationship with her father that disowned her once she married her uncle.
-Upon arrival, psycho crazy grandmother declares the children will stay in the room that leads to the attic and they will play in the attic as to not leave or go outside EVER.  This is so the grandfather will not know of their existent.
-They are delivered one basket of food everyday, it has to last the full day.
-Mom begins to develop a relationship with her father of whom she is waiting to keel over from heart problems, inherit his fortune and leave with the children.
-Grandma is sneaking pastries to the children.  They are poisoned.
-Mom begins to enjoy the single life and riches of living back home while the kids sit in the attic.
-Older brother in sister turn into parental figures for the lack of having any.
-Grandma whips mother for living in sin and the abomination of being with the uncle.  Like, whips her, with a belt and mares her skin.
-Kids are scared.

-A week turns into months and months turn into two years.
-Brother and sister have a half naked moment in the bathroom.
-One of the twins dies from the poisoning.
-Mom sneaks off to marry some dude.
-Kids find out that POPS died 2 months ago and their mom has hit the road and she ain't coming back no mo no mo no mo!
-Kids escape by trapping crazy psycho grandma in the attic and turning off the lights.  CRAZY PSYCHO GRANDMA IS SCARED OF THE DARK.  Who knew?

So to recap.  My seven year old twins totally watched a movie about not only locking the kids in the attic but beating and poisoning them....Oh and the fifty shades of incest.

I flipped out and told Haleigh LANE SILLOWAY if she EVER even considered watching something on Lifetime or anything other than Disney for that matter that she better think twice....because at the end of the day.......we also have an attic!!!!


Then I had to ask her if she watched 'Lizzy Borden Took an AX'.  She assured me she had not.  I reminded her that just because she knows what channel 'Vampire Diaries' and 'The Walking Dead' comes on that doesn't give her the much needed permission to watch them!

Feel free to nominate me for mom of the year.  
                                                        I'm totes deserving.  Peace out.


  1. yeah, I've seen the movie and read the book, it's cray cray. What is the number to CPS? I need to call them on my crazy neighbor who lets her kids watch VERY inappropriate stuff. Oh wait, never mind, YOU ARE MY NEIGHBOR!!! Just kidding......don't let that worry you too much. Stuff like that happens, like when I forget to change the radio station when Rihanna's S&M comes on!